Art and visual erotica that depicts masculine submission.
We showcase beautiful imagery where men and other male-identified people are submissive subjects. We aim to challenge stereotypes of the "pathetic" submissive man. Learn more….
Original work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. We make a concerted effort to attribute works properly; please show us, and the artists whose work we feature, the same courtesy. Please redistribute this work; you are not stealing.
So, I don’t usually use blog posts to explicitly ask readers for donations. But I’m doing that tonight because in the span of 2 months, I’ve had to use money for a laptop repair ($300+), a car repair (~$370), and as of tonight, a car tow (~$130) and repair that I don’t yet have the bill for. These numbers are pretty extreme, for me.
As regular readers know, I don’t have a house. I have a car. That car is my house. (Legally speaking, I’m a vagrant.) For most folks, rent is the most expensive part of their budget. That’s true for me, too. It’s just that, for me, “rent” means “car insurance.” Since I’m kind of a cyborg, I also have a cell phone bill, and these two expenses combined are what I think of as “rent.”
I’ve done a lot more than I used to think possible to distance myself from the need to use money. To large extent, it’s worked. A huge chunk of my food comes from others’ waste, and another huge chunk of it comes from gift cards from readers like you. Most of my “cash on hand” also comes from donations, often for the utility software I make available such as Tumblr Crosspostr or the Inline Google Spreadsheet Viewer. (I also used to be on food stamps, but those were cut.)
I’ve been jobless for over four years now, and homeless for more than three. And yet, it’s in that time—the time when I’ve been jobless and homeless—that I’ve been at my most impactful, in areas ranging from sexual violence prevention to seed saving and food justice. I bring this up not to justify my existence (I don’t have to justify existing), but to remind you that having a job is totally unrelated to doing meaningful work. Telling jobs and bosses to go fuck themselves has been one of the best things I’ve ever done in terms of my personal productivity, and in terms of my positive impact on society.
I hope that’s as inspiring to you as it feels to me, because living in a world where people are treated first and foremost like humans instead of line items is a Big Fucking Deal to me. And getting rid of money is a necessary step towards that world.
But taking the path less traveled doesn’t make me independent of others. No one’s really completely independent anyway. What it makes me, then, is simply a lot more aware of the ways in which I am dependent on other people. And then my car breaks down for the second time in that many months while I’m hundreds of miles away from anyone I know and, well, #UghCapitalism.
Boo! In 2mos, 1 computer meltdown, 2 car breakdowns. This time: snapped Serpentine belt. :( X your fingers that’s it! pic.twitter.com/2O80vX9svp
— maymay (@maymaymx) August 12, 2014
What everyone intuitively knows but most people don’t acknowledge is that we use money to outsource the work of having human relationships. If I stayed put in this area long enough to make some friends, eventually someone might help me get the parts and fix my car. Or I could ditch the car, go back to hitchhiking, relying solely on the kindness and curiosity of strangers. And if I can’t get the money to fix my car, then maybe that’s what I’ll do. I’m pretty resourceful. Look, I’ll probably be just fine.
But if I’m going to get my car fixed, which I’d like to do so that I can continue focusing on coding instead of where my next ride is coming from, and if I’m going to get it fixed any time in the near future, which I’d like to do so that I can keep a commitment to someone I care about further up the coast, I’ve got to use money to do that. I’m lucky that I can dip into my bank account—something a lot of people don’t even have. But that’s money I would have otherwise spent primarily on things like gas or food.
I’m not really asking for your help because I can’t live without it. I probably can. But your donations make it possible for me to not merely survive, but to create; to focus on projects, ideas, and resources that make our world a better place. If you think what I’ve been doing is valuable, I need your help to continue spending my time and energy on that work. And if you think I’ve done a lot on my own, just imagine what I can accomplish with your help.
So, if you’ve appreciated any of the essays on my blogs, or if you’ve been using any code I wrote, and you’ve been on the fence about whether to donate, please do. There is no such thing as “just” a small donation. And given the past two months of expensive equipment failures, now is a time when even small donations will really make a difference.
Shortly after I published my last post, “What happens when a healthcare company’s employee takes down a rape survivor support site?” I received permission to publish an email from yet another PAT-FetLife user. It’s particularly relevant because it directly counters one of the most frequently cited justifications for why the healthcare company employee, Caroline Tyler, attacked Predator Alert Tool for FetLife and made it unavailable. That justification being that “it was set up for use in USA to identify people with a criminal record in our society, it has no use whatsoever in the UK.” (Definitely follow the link to FetLife and chime in, yourself, if you want.)
Of course, that is itself at best a grave misunderstanding of the purpose of the Predator Alert Tools and at worst yet another intentional lie from the Bitter BDSM’er Brigade about the tool. The truth is I intended Predator Alert Tool to be used wherever ethical people want to act in resistance of rape culture. National boundaries are not a sensible demarcation for such a demographic. (And it’s also why not having any moderator is a necessary, intentional design feature.)
So, without further ado, here’s the email:
I’m in the UK so I don’t know how good it will be to you, but if you ever turn up in Surrey my sofa is available for a kip. […]
I don’t know, your inbox is probably flooded with these kinds of messages so you probably don’t want to hear but I just wanted to thankyou for helping spread the anti-sexual-violence message and the whole thing with FAADE. I’m just incredibly grateful. It enabled me to warn people about Jack, also known as Fox_Vanweasel amongst other things, when the criminal justice system failed me. I think he and his honeytrap girlfriend Renegade-Hearts have deleted their accounts now, but it gave me a voice when I felt like I had none.
Jack restrained, raped, tortured and humiliated me for 6 hours but more than that he lied and betrayed my trust as well as physically overpowering me when I was a naive barely-18 year old, and he was a fully grown man. I was naive, but teenagers should be allowed to be naive without predators taking advantage of this.
He groomed me before executing a deeply violent attack, switching between sweet and caring and gift-giving to anally-raping and humiliating, then back to play video games and run me a bath. I was trapped in his house for 8 hours, too afraid to even speak. Yet the police told me I should have ‘fought back more’ when the blindfold slipped because his piss had dampened it. They told me it was a ‘he said, she said’ situation even though I later found his accounts on other sites expressing a desire to rape someone prior to my assault. They dismissed the case entirely and there was a report some time later on crime statistics in Croydon, where this was carried out, saying that a lot of people are dissuaded from taking the individual to court, or the police won’t do so, in order to make the official crime statistics (based on court cases) look lower.
So this unbiased, user-owned PAT tool is ideal in such situations of corruption, bureaucracy and pencil-pushing taking over from protecting real persons from real attacks. It’s a shame their accounts are gone so people can’t be warned, but maybe the interview with the police scared them off- made them realise they can face consequences.
Anyway. The real message is that you’re doing a good thing and you’re welcome to a drink or the couch if you’re ever in the UK.
The takeaway here is that there is a very big difference between BDSM’ers and ethical kinksters. The overwhelming majority of information about kinky-sexy-things on the Internet isn’t useful. It’s rape apologist propaganda.
There’s no better demonstration of this than the fact that Predator Alert Tool’s most vocal and insistent attackers come from the supposedly “safe, sane, and consensual” BDSM community.
No, really. What does happen when an employee of a healthcare company attacks a website used by rape survivors to support one another? It’s not a hypothetical question. That actually happened. As I wrote earlier:
Due to a deliberate and sustained denial-of-service attack by a FetLife user, the Predator Alert Tool for FetLife reporting mechanism is unavailable. […] The attacker is not shy. She boasts about her actions on the BDSM/leather/kink dating website FetLife.com, where she goes by the username CarolyneTiler. Her legal identity is Caroline Tyler, a resident of Bradford, West Yorkshire in the UK.
The people whom Caroline Tyler is harming with her denial-of-service attack against Predator Alert Tool for FetLife are the people relying on PAT-FetLife as a way of communicating about dangerous people inside the kink/BDSM community.
Caroline Tyler’s motivations to attack PAT-Fetlife seem, at least in part, to be personally directed at me. However, attacking PAT-FetLife doesn’t harm me in any way. (I don’t use FetLife.) It harms people who want to remain involved in FetLife but who also want to have access to uncensored information about potential play partners. This kind of peer-to-peer reputation system (like “Yelp for BDSMers”), is something FetLife users have been requesting for years and that FetLife still refuses to provide.
If you’re worried about these attacks against PAT-FetLife hurting someone, it’s not me; it’s ethical kinksters on FetLife you should be worried about.
So, what happened? Well, in short order, several determined PAT-FetLife users collated information about Caroline Tyler and learned that she is employed by Egton Medical Information Systems, Ltd. (EMIS), a healthcare technology services provider, of all things. It’s certainly more than a little disturbing that a healthcare industry employee would actively attack a tool that rape survivors use to help keep themselves and others safe from sexual assaults. That’s a bit like calling 9-1-1 only to get shot by the cop who shows up “to help.” (True story.)
So, these PAT-FetLife users took it upon themselves to do something about the situation. The rest of this post is a statement these PAT-FetLife users shared with me, asking for your help in dissuading Caroline Tyler’s continued attacks against PAT-FetLife:
Caroline Tyler’s attacks on PAT-Fetlife are a direct attack on ethical kinksters on Fetlife and on survivors of sexual violence in general.
When will the PAT-FetLife reporting mechanism be available again?
After Caroline Tyler’s first attack, I re-enabled PAT-FetLife. The next day, she again attacked the reporting form. This shows a deliberate intent to keep sexual violence survivors from accessing tools they use to communicate.
Unfortunately, also as discussed in my prior post, there is currently no technological way to prevent Caroline Tyler from continuing to make the PAT-FetLife reporting service unavailable. […] Adding new information to PAT-FetLife will therefore only be possible when at least one of the following happens:
- Google Forms updates the PAT-FetLife back-end to their “new” Google Spreadsheets system. The timeline they provided for this is “in 2014,” so that could be a few months yet.
- Caroline Tyler stops launching her denial-of-service attack on PAT-FetLife, either by her own choice or by being compelled to stop through social, legal, or other pressure.
- A new version of Predator Alert Tool for FetLife based on the DAO technology I am currently exploring (mentioned above) is ready.
The last two bullet points – stopping Caroline Tyler’s denial-of-service attacks on PAT-Fetlife, and creating a new version of PAT-Fetlife – are how you can help. Coders with technical skills who want to help create a new Predator Alert Tool version should start by looking at the various PAT code repository websites. But even without new code, we can also help by speaking out against these attacks as follows.
Stop Caroline Tyler’s denial-of-service attacks on Fetlife
First, it’s worth noting that Caroline Tyler has been completely public about her actions and her identity. All the information in the Pastie page doxxing her is information she put online herself. She used her own name as her Fetlife username: She ain’t in the closet.
Second, the goal is not to get anybody fired, if only because then they’ll be even angrier and have more time to sit at home and continuing to launch DOS attacks. The goal is to stop the DOS attacks.
With that in mind, here’s specific ways you can help do that.
- Offering legal help: If you are or know a lawyer who takes on sexual violence cases, internet crimes cases, or both, contact maymay directly. If you are or know a programmer, talk to MM about how you can use those skills to help out.
- Contacting Caroline Tyler directly: If you’re on Twitter or Google Plus and can send a message to Caroline’s @-mentions or notifications (by following the previous links), remind her that her actions in taking down PAT-Fetlife are harming other people. Notably, after MM’s earlier updates, it appears Caroline Tyler removed her FetLife, LinkedIn, and other social media profiles (despite archives of each existing)—but if you see her appear in those places again, drop her a note there, too. In the mean time, you can chime in on the threads of her FetLife friends, such as this one.
- Contacting Caroline’s employer: We wrote and sent several emails to Caroline’s employer, EMIS, and encourage you to do the same. Templates are provided here. Click the “Send this email to EMIS HR personnel” link below the email you want to send to pre-fill your email program with the template:
- Dear sir or madam:
It has come to our attention that one of your employees, one Caroline Tyler, has been performing a Denial-Of-Service attack upon a rape reporting tool. Pursuant to Part 5, item 36 of the Police and Justice Act 2006, such attacks are illegal with penalties for those found guilty of such an attack being up to 10 years of imprisonment. As such, we are informing you that we are in the process of seeking legal advisement for pressing criminal charges. As you should already be aware, should such activity have been done using equipment belonging to your company, charges may extend to your business as well.
- Dear Sue Mosley, Katy Standish, and Matt Murphy:
I am a user of a program called PAT-fetlife, a volunteer-created anti-rape database for the social networking website Fetlife. An employee of EMIS, Caroline Tyler, an IT systems support consultant, has identified herself as engaging in “hacking” activities, specifically launching an ongoing denial-of-service attack on PAT-Fetlife and then boasting on Fetlife about doing so. The creator of PAT-Fetlife is currently seeking a lawyer.
EMIS may wish to launch its own investigation into the matter, as a DOS attack on a volunteer-created database intended to address the public health issue of rape is directly counter to the mission of EMIS to create databases to improve public health and does not improve the reputation of EMIS as a whole.
A brief outline of the ongoing incident can be found here:
More details, including screen-shots of Caroline Tyler publicly boasting on Fetlife about the DOS attack can be found here:
It is reasonable to contact EMIS HR personnel, Caroline Tyler’s employer (as is easily gathered from her LinkedIn profile), in this case because as the originating computer(s) are not known, Caroline Tyler MAY be using work computers to carry out the DOS attack, which is undoubtedly against company policy.
EMIS describes itself as “The UK’s leading supplier of healthcare software to GPs and a major software supplier to high street pharmacies.” In a nutshell, they make remotely accessible databases for health care. Hence, as PAT-Fetlife is a database to address the public health issue of rape, Caroline Tyler is acting to destroy something of the exact nature as the things she spends her work life building. According to GlassDoor, EMIS usually hires unskilled people and trains them in IT work, so there’s a good chance that Caroline Tyler acquired the skills and knowledge she’s using to attack PAT-Fetlife from working at EMIS.
EMIS may have policies against their programmers engaging in illegal “hacking” in their free time. Even if they don’t, this will be embarrassing if it’s smeared across the papers (“EMIS Worker Attacks Anti-Rape Program”).
If you’re in the medical/pharmaceutical or programing industry, particularly in England or otherwise in their hiring/selling region, please mention this to EMIS; these are the specific industries they are in and you are better positioned to exert social pressure on EMIS to curb the behavior of their employee.
An excerpt from this Facebook discussion.
A side point I, personally, like to make is how the most vocal objection to Predator Alert Tool comes from BDSM’ers betrays the rape apologia on which BDSM is rooted.
Learn more about Predator Alert Tool:
- Short writeup about Predator Alert Tool that was featured on LifeHacker
- Why attacking Predator Alert Tools backfire on attackers
- What happened to Predator Alert Tool for FetLife?