Male Submission Art

Art and visual erotica that depicts masculine submission.

We showcase beautiful imagery where men and other male-identified people are submissive subjects. We aim to challenge stereotypes of the "pathetic" submissive man. Learn more….

Your steward is maymay. Want to collaborate with me? It's easy: visit MaleSubmissionArt.com/submit or tag your Delicious.com bookmarks as for:MaleSubmissionArt! More ways to contribute….

Creative Commons License
Original work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. We make a concerted effort to attribute works properly; please show us, and the artists whose work we feature, the same courtesy. Please redistribute this work; you are not stealing.

JanesGuide.com says we are 'quality and original'!

ztvf7jsh8a
Sat May 11

maymay:

“Repeat Rape: How do they get away with it?”, Part 2 of 2. (link to Part 1)

Sources:

  1. College Men: Repeat Rape and Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists,Lisak and Miller, 2002 [PDF, 12 pages]
  2. Navy Men: Lisak and Miller’s results were essentially duplicated in an even larger study (2,925 men): Reports of Rape Reperpetration by Newly Enlisted Male Navy Personnel, McWhorter, 2009 [PDF, 16 pages]

By dark-side-of-the-room, who writes:

These infogifs are provided RIGHTS-FREE for noncommercial purposes. Repost them anywhere. In fact, repost them EVERYWHERE. No need to credit. Link to the L&M study if possible.

Knowledge is a seed; sow it.

ztvf7jsh8a
Wed May 8
FetLife represents a particularly egregious example of a pervasive problem of Internet culture and structure[; it is] an environment where we don’t recognize that we have a right to say no to sharing information, much like many women were socialized traditionally to not recognize that they could say no to sex.

Got Consent? Part III: FetLife Doesn’t Get It by M. Lunas (via maymay)

This series of articles on consent and the lack thereof in BDSM communities is an incredibly important (but disturbing) read. Pair with the “Yes Means Yes” seven-part series “There’s a War On,” especially Part 6: Anti-Sunshine League, the prequel to M. Lunas’s trilogy. From M. Lunas’s post:

Here’s your tl;dr: FetLife, I will argue, does not respect consent. It actively seeks to silence victims of abuse, and also does not give you the ability to consent to how your information is shared and used. On the privacy front, FetLife does not provide meaningful internal user controls to protect users–since the biggest danger isn’t people outside the site, but within it. In this, FetLife represents a particularly egregious example of pervasive problem of Internet culture and structure, which is an environment where we don’t recognize that we have a right to say no to sharing information, much like many women were socialized traditionally to not recognize that they could say no to sex. On top of that, it makes it difficult-to-impossible to get your data out of the site, which, I will argue, puts FetLife in possible violation of the European Union’s Data Protection Directive. Furthermore, I will argue, perhaps provocatively, that there is a strong relation between FetLife’s for-profit business model and all their actions. Nonetheless, I will outline what FetLife could and should do. Fortunately, there are now a number of nifty tools available to get around some of FetLife’s problems. (Indeed, these tools are now expanding to other sites, like OKCupid: see the Predator Alert Tool for OK Cupid, which we may revisit in another blog post at some point.)

(via maymay)

ztvf7jsh8a
Mon May 6
maymay:

TL;DR: Since his company is ignoring questions from reporters about the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid, I asked the CTO of OkCupid out on Facebook. Reblog this to help me get a date! ;)
Weeks ago, in one of my flurry of meetings about the new Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid I’d written (a free browser script that “red flags” OkCupid profiles based on their own concerning answers to Match Questions), a reporter told me that OkCupid is not responding to questions about it. In case you’re wondering, the tool looks like this:

You can think of the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid as your own personalized “Nice Guys of OkCupid,” or an early warning system for rape culture. You can learn how to install and use PAT-OKC by following this visual guide.
There’s been a lot of discussion about PAT-OKC across the Internet. Simple searches for “okcupid predator alert” and the like will find you bunches of it, but here’s a sampling of some of the best-of-the-best that I know of:
Rape Culture, Meet Internet Culture: PAT-OKC and other online anti-rape initiatives
Filtering out the cybercreeps
Add-ons to algorithms
Why the [Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid’s] “Choking Question” is a Litmus Test for Domism
Not Just Bitchy: Tunnel Vision
Monogamous Cultural Norms Contribute to Protecting Abusers
OkCupid is a company; “they don’t give a fuck about you.”
Many people are rightly asking the simple question, “if OkCupid has these kinds of questions, why the hell aren’t they already set up to trigger red flags?” I think that’s a good question, too. And since I currently happen to be in the same city as OkCupid’s CTO, Tom Quisel, I went to his Facebook profile and asked him out on a date on his wall. Screenshot above.
Tom and I have had drinks together before. And I think I remember promising not to kiss-and-tell, so…*zips lips*.
Think he’ll go out with me again? ;)
Please reblog this to help make sure he knows I’m interested! :D

maymay:

TL;DR: Since his company is ignoring questions from reporters about the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid, I asked the CTO of OkCupid out on Facebook. Reblog this to help me get a date! ;)

Weeks ago, in one of my flurry of meetings about the new Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid I’d written (a free browser script that “red flags” OkCupid profiles based on their own concerning answers to Match Questions), a reporter told me that OkCupid is not responding to questions about it. In case you’re wondering, the tool looks like this:

Screenshot of Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid showing a flagged user profile.

You can think of the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid as your own personalized “Nice Guys of OkCupid,” or an early warning system for rape culture. You can learn how to install and use PAT-OKC by following this visual guide.

There’s been a lot of discussion about PAT-OKC across the Internet. Simple searches for “okcupid predator alert” and the like will find you bunches of it, but here’s a sampling of some of the best-of-the-best that I know of:

Many people are rightly asking the simple question, “if OkCupid has these kinds of questions, why the hell aren’t they already set up to trigger red flags?” I think that’s a good question, too. And since I currently happen to be in the same city as OkCupid’s CTO, Tom Quisel, I went to his Facebook profile and asked him out on a date on his wall. Screenshot above.

Tom and I have had drinks together before. And I think I remember promising not to kiss-and-tell, so…*zips lips*.

Think he’ll go out with me again? ;)

Please reblog this to help make sure he knows I’m interested! :D

ztvf7jsh8a
ztvf7jsh8a
Thu May 2
The BDSM Scene is a school that teaches people to gaslight themselves when it comes to what bottoms’ consent feels like.

unquietpirate

See also:

(via maymay)

Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

ztvf7jsh8a
Sun Apr 14
A rough man wearing only a cloak stands with his arms above his head, where they’re tied with rope. His thighs are similarly tied, causing his knees to brace together and his erect penis to protrude even more prominently. 
This beautiful sketch by darkefey was sent to me a while ago but I’ve not had the emotional resources to withstand this blog’s inbox (which is often full of truly pathetic cock shots or else images so off-point I question the author’s ability to read Male Submission Art’s very simple mission statement) until now. Along with this sketch was a note:



seeing your blog got me inspired as an artist and i drew this for you. it’s still a bit sketchy but i intend to colour it at some point. as a dominant woman i understand where this site is coming from. i don’t wanna see over sexualised images of other women, there is far too much of that as it is… please do not post my name just call me darkefey as i am only 19 and still internet shy… either way use as you want, toss if you don’t want i don’t mind, as long as you don’t sell because then i would feel like a silly fish :) this is my own work and yeah 
so many good pics! thanks heaps
ps… i accept terms of submission… eheheheheh :D … T.T sorry bad joke over 9000… 



It’s very nice to hear that people are (still!) finding this simple website inspiring—even, not especially, people who are “only” nineteen. I began this blog in 2008, when I was twenty-four years old. Today, I am twenty-eight. But age is just a number, for as Henry David Thoreau once said when he was close to the age I am today:


Age is no better, hardly so well, qualified for an instructor as youth, for it has not profited so much as it has lost. One may almost doubt if the wisest man has learned anything of absolute value by living. Practically, the old have no very important advice to give the young[…]; it may be that they have some faith left which belies that experience, and they are only less young than they were. I have lived some thirty years on this planet, and I have yet to hear the first syllable of valuable or even earnest advice from my seniors. They have told me nothing, and probably cannot tell me anything to the purpose. Here is life, an experiment to a great extent untried by me; but it does not avail me that they have tried it. If I have any experience which I think valuable, I am sure to reflect that this my Mentors said nothing about.


I still receive praise for Male Submission Art on a sporadic basis. I don’t know what’s going to come of this space in the future, but I also know that while perhaps it’s served its purpose for me, it’s still serving a purpose for others.
And for me, that serves both as a good reminder of how big the world is, and also as continued motivation to keep paying it forward. Sharing darkefey’s sketch is, perhaps, another start. After all, everything is circles.
-maymay

A rough man wearing only a cloak stands with his arms above his head, where they’re tied with rope. His thighs are similarly tied, causing his knees to brace together and his erect penis to protrude even more prominently. 

This beautiful sketch by darkefey was sent to me a while ago but I’ve not had the emotional resources to withstand this blog’s inbox (which is often full of truly pathetic cock shots or else images so off-point I question the author’s ability to read Male Submission Art’s very simple mission statement) until now. Along with this sketch was a note:

seeing your blog got me inspired as an artist and i drew this for you. it’s still a bit sketchy but i intend to colour it at some point. as a dominant woman i understand where this site is coming from. i don’t wanna see over sexualised images of other women, there is far too much of that as it is… please do not post my name just call me darkefey as i am only 19 and still internet shy… either way use as you want, toss if you don’t want i don’t mind, as long as you don’t sell because then i would feel like a silly fish :) this is my own work and yeah 

so many good pics! thanks heaps

ps… i accept terms of submission… eheheheheh :D … T.T sorry bad joke over 9000… 

It’s very nice to hear that people are (still!) finding this simple website inspiring—even, not especially, people who are “only” nineteen. I began this blog in 2008, when I was twenty-four years old. Today, I am twenty-eight. But age is just a number, for as Henry David Thoreau once said when he was close to the age I am today:

Age is no better, hardly so well, qualified for an instructor as youth, for it has not profited so much as it has lost. One may almost doubt if the wisest man has learned anything of absolute value by living. Practically, the old have no very important advice to give the young[…]; it may be that they have some faith left which belies that experience, and they are only less young than they were. I have lived some thirty years on this planet, and I have yet to hear the first syllable of valuable or even earnest advice from my seniors. They have told me nothing, and probably cannot tell me anything to the purpose. Here is life, an experiment to a great extent untried by me; but it does not avail me that they have tried it. If I have any experience which I think valuable, I am sure to reflect that this my Mentors said nothing about.

I still receive praise for Male Submission Art on a sporadic basis. I don’t know what’s going to come of this space in the future, but I also know that while perhaps it’s served its purpose for me, it’s still serving a purpose for others.

And for me, that serves both as a good reminder of how big the world is, and also as continued motivation to keep paying it forward. Sharing darkefey’s sketch is, perhaps, another start. After all, everything is circles.

-maymay

ztvf7jsh8a
Sat Apr 13

Why the [Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid’s] “Choking Question” is a Litmus Test for Domism

maymay:

unquietpirate:

The recently released Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid is an add-on for OkCupid that highlights Match Questions related to sexual consent and/or violence and flags users whose public answers to those questions might be cause for concern. Although the tool could be modified to use any number of “red flag” criteria, the current iteration uses a default set of questions from David Lisak and Paul M. Miller’s 2002 study “Repeat Rape and Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists.”

One of those questions is: “Have you ever choked someone who you were in some kind of intimate relationship with (e.g., you wrapped your hands or some object around their throat)?

Although PAT-OKC has gotten a HUGE positive response from OkCupid users, a small but vocal subset has expressed concern about the choking question and another similar Lisak and Miller question: “Have you ever punched or kicked or repeatedly slapped with an open hand (e.g., two or more times in a single incident) someone who you were in some kind of intimate relationship with?” Their critique is that these activities — choking, punching, and kicking a partner — can be done consensually and that it is therefore unfair of the PAT-OKC code to tar consensual chokers, punchers and kickers with the same brush as people who commit domestic violence.

The conclusion some of these concerned users seem to draw is that PAT-OKC’s author, Maymay, “appears not to be very friendly towards the BDSM community.” Those making this critique seem to be missing some important context. (At least, some of them do. Others are very familiar with Maymay’s position within BDSM culture and appear to be simply concern-trolling.) Of course, there is a long history of consensual BDSM being conflated with abuse by antagonistic outsidersMaymay, however, is themself a long-time practitioner of BDSM and, most importantly, a radical supporter of the rights of submissive-identified people. Within BDSM, submissives and many others are harmed by a cultural hierarchy that privileges dominant identities and dominant behaviors above all others. In other words, Maymay is not a BDSM outsider who’s attacking “kink”; they are an insider who’s fighting domism.

PAT-OKC is, first and foremost, a tool for fighting rape culture. Forced to choose, then, it makes sense for PAT-OKC to prioritize getting as much information as possible to potential rape victims over potentially mislabeling some dominants as “predators.” Especially given that the answers to any red-flag questions are displayed prominently at the top of a user’s profile where that user can address them.

This tool is an early contribution to the ongoing project of building feminist and anti-rape culture initiatives into the architecture of the Internet, rather than simply using the Internet as an additional platform for awareness-raising. Maymay has asked very widely for help and feedback with improving the tool. Having experimented with it quite a bit (and having been “red flagged” myself on the basis of the choking question), I think there is a lot of room for improvement. Which is to say that there are a ton of cool and exciting new ways technologies like this might be built-out to better fight oppression culture online. Better protecting the reputations of dominants on OkCupid is not one of them.

I could get into a contentious conversation here about the politics inherent to power play and the responsibilities that I believe come along with topping re: owning one’s shit, but that’s not actually germane to the point: Even if YKINMKBYKIOK, so what? PAT-OKC’s purpose isn’t to educate the OkCupid using populace about the difference between BDSM and abuse, nor is that Maymay’s or any other BDSMer’s job. (Unless that BDSM’er happens to be, say, a dominant-identified OkCupider who wants to choke a partner and isn’t sure how they’d feel about that. Then they can have a conversation about it with that person, perhaps instigated by the red flag that popped up on that dominant user’s profile!)

What’s important about PAT-OKC is that it’s trying to fight rape culture. Not just the sub-culturally specific microcosm of rape culture that takes advantage how it’s tricky to negotiate consensual non-con, but the BIG UMBRELLA of rape culture that says if you buy a girl dinner she owes you sex. To do that well, it needs your assistance, suggestions, testing, and feedback to improve. It needs you to talk about it to your friends, share it with your networks, and simply use it. When the thing that blocks you from doing that when you otherwise would is, essentially, a concern about potential “false accusations” of dominants, you’re putting the needs of dominants above the needs of potential rape victims. 

Whoa. Seriously?

Many, many people have expressed concern to Maymay about the choking question and Maymay has taken the time to respond in several places. I’m not surprised by the fact that their responses are getting more and more terse with repeated asking. I know that I, personally, as an avowed and red-flagged consensual choker, am sick of hearing about it. Prioritizing that issue is inherently domist. And taking a person who’s working hard to fight rape culture to task — especially if you know them to be a submissive-identified person — because they’re working in a way that isn’t attentive enough to the needs of dominants is, well, insulting.  

So, if your first response to PAT-OKC has been a critique of the choking question, even a very politely phrased critique, you may have received a rather terse reply. Rather than wondering why Maymay is being so mean to you, your time might be better spent asking yourself: Why did the choking question feel like such a big deal to you in the first place?

If you’re involved with the BDSM scene, regardless of your role orientation, chances are that you’ve internalized some domist beliefs about the ego-needs of dominants being more important than the safety of submissives. You might not even be aware of them. You might believe that this hierarchy is the only way to think about BDSM. 

It’s not.

This is wonderful. And you are wonderful. Thank you. ♥

ztvf7jsh8a
Thu Mar 28

Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid

Just in case you thought I was more interested in destroying FetLife than destroying rape culture, allow me to direct your attention to my newest project:

maymay:

The Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid (PAT-OKC) is an add-on to your Web browser that alerts you of any red flags for a given profile as you browse OkCupid. A “red flag” is simply a public action taken by the given profile that is concerning, such as answering Match Questions in the same way an undetected rapist is statistically likely to answer them. For instance, given the following question, an answer of “Yes.” would be alarming:

Have you ever been in a situation where you tried, but for various reasons did not succeed, in having sexual intercourse with an adult by using or threatening to use physical force (twisting their arm, holding them down, etc.) if they did not cooperate?

This is not a hypothetical question, nor is the answer universally obvious. This is, in fact, the exact phrasing of a question used in a study called “Repeat Rape and Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists” by David Lisak and Paul M. Miller, published in Violence and Victims, Vol 17, No. 1, 2002 (Lisak and Miller 2002).

Tragically, a statistically significant portion of respondents answered in the affirmative. While much smaller than the portion of respondents who answered with a “no,” the fact that some people blithely answered “yes” makes these questions worth asking up-front, to everyone, all the time. The Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid automates this process and issues warnings if its heuristics find a concerning match.

This early warning system can help OkCupid users make better informed choices about what measures they feel they need to take to remain safe while using the service.

System requirements

The following software must be installed on your system before installing the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid user script.

Mozilla Firefox

If you use the Mozilla Firefox web browser (version 12.0 or higher), ensure you have the Greasemonkey extension installed (at version 1.0 or higher).

Google Chrome

If you use the Google Chrome web browser (version 23 or higher), ensure you have the Tampermonkey extension installed.

Installing

To install the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid, go to http://maybemaimed.com/playground/predator-alert-tool-for-okcupid/ and click “Download and install” near the middle of the page:

If you enjoy this script, please consider tossing a few metaphorical coins in my cyberbusking hat. :) Your donations are sincerely appreciated! Can’t afford to part with any coin? It’s cool. Tweet your appreciation, instead.

If maybemaimed.com is censored where you are, you can alternatively go to the Userscripts.org page for Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid and click on “Install”. If the tool is also unavailable there, you can alternatively download PAT-OKC from GitHub.com.

Using

After installing the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid (PAT-OKC), you will be presented with a welcome screen that describes the tool’s use, its limitations, and provides links to helpful safety information.

Screenshot of PAT-OKC welcome screen.

Click on the “Go” button and you’ll begin the installation questionnaire, modeled after the survey in Lisak and Miller’s study, cited above. It’ll look like this:

Screenshot of PAT-OKC questionnaire.

Complete the Match Questions in the PAT-OKC questionnaire just as you would an ordinary OkCupid question. When you submit your answer, you’ll automatically be redirected to the next required question. You’ll also be able to pause the questionnaire periodically and resume it later.

When you’ve completed all of the questions, you’ll be presented with a pop-up box that offers a brief summary of how to use the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid:

Screenshot of PAT-OKC summary after completing its quesionnaire.

If you encounter a profile on an OkCupid page whose behavior on the site is concerning, PAT-OKC will highlight links to that user’s profile in a red, blocky outline. Viewing that user’s OkCupid profile page will offer a full explanation of why that user’s profile was red-flagged.

Frequently Asked Questions

Before you report a new issue with the Predator Alert Tool for OkCupid (PAT-OKC), please check to ensure your question is not already addressed in the list below.

Where can I learn more about this issue?

The following articles are important reads that offer additional background and context for this issue:

Each of the pages listed above also contain numerous additional links. I’d recommend reading them, too.

Change log

  • Version 0.2.1:
    • First public release.
  • Version 0.2:
    • Initial orientation path and installation questionnaire.
  • Version 0.1:
    • Initial working prototype.

-maymay

P.S. Inquiries regarding the destruction of FetLife still welcome, of course.

ztvf7jsh8a
Fri Mar 8

maymay:

In this video, I’ll show you how to move your FetLife Writings and Pictures to a WordPress blog with a few clicks of your mouse using the free FetLife to WordPress converter. If you found this tool useful, please consider making a donation.

Transcript:

All right folks. The founder of the fetish dating Website FetLife(.com), John Baku, unleashed a wave of pedophilic comments on an unsuspecting 9 year old boy. (Disgusting.)

And you’re on FetLife…why?

Because your writings are on FetLife and it’d be a pain to move them to another blogging platform?

In this video, I’ll show you how to move your FetLife Writings and Pictures to a WordPress blog with a few clicks of your mouse using the free FetLife to WordPress converter. For this demo, I’ll pretend that I’m John Baku, that I actually had moment of conscience, and that I realized I need to ditch FetLife. Okay, here we go:

“Oh my god! The website I made is a terrible privacy disaster! It’s full of security holes! I’m misleading people about their safety and privacy online! Individuals and community groups, they rely on me and my team at FetLife to keep them safe and in touch with their friends, but we’re doing horrible things like censoring rape survivors, selectively enforcing our own rules, dictatorially blocking criticism using outright censorship and bogus DMCA takedown notices, and generally exploiting people’s trust. WHAT HAVE I DONE? I need to get away from FetLife ASAP. But how am I going to take all my years’ worth of writings, and my hundreds of pictures and journal entries, and photos of myself making racist jokes elsewhere? SHIT! I’ve locked people into using FetLife like the corporate scum I now realize that I am! OHHHH, WHAT AM I TO DO?”

“What’s that? Maymay wrote a tool to convert a FetLife user account to WordPress? Thank goodness! I’ll make a free, private WordPress blog and keep making racist jokes there. That way, fewer 9 year olds will be subjected to my terrible, terrible judgement and mocking sexualization. Thanks, maymay!”

You’re welcome, John. I’m still waiting for a response to the invoice that I sent you, but what-evs.

Okay, so, moving your stuff out of FetLife is really pretty easy. Just go to http://FetLife.maybemaimed.com/fetlife2wxr Enter your connection details—I bet John Baku’s password is “I’m an idiot”—and click the “Connect to FetLife and make my WXR file” button. Be patient; if you’ve posted a lot of stuff (like you have, John) it may take a while. This might be a good time to reflect on the horrific fact that the BDSM and fetish community have a 50% higher incidence of consent violations than the general populace, as measured by a recent NCSF survey. That means you can significantly increase your likelihood of getting raped or assaulted and all you have to do is go to your local BDSM Munch a few times! “Safe, sane, and consensual” MY ASS.

Anyway, you’ll eventually be asked to download a file. Save that file to your computer; it’s got all your FetLife Writings and Pictures in it! (I’ve already downloaded a copy, here.)

Next, go to WordPress.com and sign up for a new free blog. You can make it private if you wish, which unlike on FetLife actually fucking means something here. Okay, then click “Sign up!”

From your new blog’s Dashboard, go to “Import” from the Tools menu. Then choose “WordPress.” You’ll be asked to upload the file you saved earlier, so go ahead and do that.

After the file uploads, you’ll be given the option to “Assign Authors” to the posts you’ll import, but you can leave all the settings at their defaults. Then, click “Submit.”

WordPress will tell you it’s “Processing…” the file and, again, now might be a good time to reflect on the systemically abusive nature of the BDSM Scene as a social institution. It’s basically a worldwide cult that brainwashes whole demographics of people into believing that they need to suck some other demographic’s metaphorical dick to feel fulfilled. That’s evil. And people like Susan Wright, NCSF’s Executive Director and recently-hired FetLife Community Manager, are complicit in it.

Once your import’s been processed, you can return to your WordPress Dashboard and happily note your posts and pictures and all their comments were imported successfully! Here’s a couple. You can browse around and note that all the comments on his posts, all the post content, it’s all there. In WordPress’s Media Library, even the pictures on your profile in FetLife were copied to your new blog on WordPress. The images are now on the WordPress blog!

So that’s it! In just a few clicks, you’re able to take back control over your own content, to move it around wherever you wish, and never again rely on FetLife for anything.

What’s that? Still using FetLife because it’s the place where you find out about the parties on Saturday night? Check out FetLife iCalendar, an easy way to sync your Google Calendar, Apple iCal, Microsoft Outlook, Yahoo! Calendar, and many other calendaring tools with FetLife events, without ever having to log in to FetLife ever again. (Yup, I said “sync.”)

My name is maymay, and I’m passionate about empowering people to own and control their own content. If you found this tool useful, please consider making a donation. Click the DONATE button, the link below the video.

And if you’d like to learn more, visit maybemaimed.com/escape-from-fetlife.

(via maybemaimed.com)

ztvf7jsh8a
Tue Mar 5

Ready to ditch FetLife? Tools to make the transition easier.

maymay:

All right folks. FetLife’s founder, John Baku, unleashed a wave of pedophilic comments on an unsuspecting 9 year old boy. (Disgusting.) FetLife’s new community manager, Susan Wright, is telling a woman targeted by a convicted murderer that the other FetLife users who are sending her personally identifiable details to this felon are not in violation of the site’s Terms of Use. (Bizarre.) And the people who are continuing to post my full legal name and other information, despite many of my friends having sent me screenshots showing that they’ve repeatedly reported these violations, are continuing to do so.

And you’re on FetLife…why?

Because it’s the place where you find out about events? Check out FetLife iCalendar, an easy way to sync your Google Calendar, Apple iCal, Microsoft Outlook, or any other calendaring application with FetLife events. (Yup, I said “sync.”)

Because you don’t want to lose all your account history and FetLife offers no way for you to get it? Check out this free FetLife Export tool, which comes complete with a video walkthrough for making a full backup of your FetLife account.

Because your writings are on FetLife and it’d be a pain to move them to another blogging platform? Last night, I wrote a WordPress plugin that automagically imports your FetLife Writings from FetLife.com into your WordPres blog. It’s called the WP FetLife Importer and as soon as it gets approved, you can download and install WP FetLife Importer directly from the WordPress Plugin Directory. Until then, you can download a copy from my staging server.

Screenshot of WP FetLife Importer.

If your blog is on WordPress.com rather than your own server where you can install plugins, try the FetLife to WordPress eXtended RSS (WXR) Generator instead.

Recently, I got some email from folks who run a BDSM/fetish group concerned that FetLife isn’t the best place for them to be. (Y’think?) Moreover, although they had come to rely on the site for just about everything, they had no way to contact the over 2,000 members in their FetLife group informing them that they’d like to transition away from FetLife.

Turns out, I’m getting more and more requests from folks who are beginning to realize that FetLife is exploiting them and not letting them leave easily. When a company, or a service, or a person, tells you that you need them to survive, and at the same time they hinder your attempts to leave, what you’ve got is an abusive relationship.

And while I can continue to say “I told you so” until the cows come home, I’m taking a different approach this time.

  • If you’re an individual person and you want some help escaping FetLife, leave a comment or make a request for some code and I might be able to make an exporter/importer/content migration tool for you.
  • If you’re an organization or a group, check out my (still very new) Escape from FetLife page and ask me for a quote. I can make hours upon hours of labor-intensive work moving content out of FetLife as easy as…well, as easy as clicking a button. (Don’t believe me? Try any of the tools, above.)

I was a professional Web developer and free software programmer for almost a decade. If you (or anyone you know) wants help getting off of FetLife, let’s make it happen. (Because I can.)