Male Submission Art

A young man is pressed against a wall by a larger man, who holds the smaller man’s head near his own.

This gripping photograph is from the Model Mayhem portfolio of Eri Nicholas Vohnson, and was suggested by ohmyfckity, who had this to say:

I came across this picture tonight and just had to share. I love how the younger male is utterly enjoying the dominating older man. There is no fear in his expression and he’s so willing.

This picture took my breath away because the juxtaposition of forcefulness with willingness is searingly sexy. I also like that, in a clearly dramatized scene, both models are wearing very plain clothing. Further, the androgynous look of the smaller man adds several dimensions of power to the narrative, including gender, age, and culture.

Finally, the shorter man’s untroubled expression is particularly interesting in contrast to the taller man’s aggressive stance. Coupled with his queered gender presentation, the image challenges a culture that indoctrinates many people—including men—with the belief that male lust is dangerous, and uncontrollable. Interestingly, homophobic men, like Mark Schwartz, Republican Senator Tom Coburn’s chief of staff, are arguably the group most afraid of male sexuality. According to Mark Schwartz:

Pornography is a blight. […It’s] my observation that boys…have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people. They speak badly about homosexuality. And that’s because they don’t want to be that way. They don’t want to fall into it. […] All pornography is homosexual pornography, because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.

Ignoring for a moment this statement’s supreme stupidity with regards to pornography, Schwartz’s internalized homophobia can be logically explained. As Figleaf points out:

It seems to me that if you’re sold on that view of men then homophobia is a twisted but logical outcome. Because if you’re raised to believe that you literally can’t resist sexual temptation of any sort but you’re not actually sexually oriented towards other men […] it makes sense that you’d be wildly intolerant of gay men. […If] one believes men are ravenously, uncontrollably sexually impulsive then one must live in mortal paranoia that not only might one inadvertently receive an aggressive sexual advance not only from perceptibly “homosexual” men (who are falsely presumed to be sexually interested in any possible opportunity for sex with any possible man) but equally uncontrollable straight men for whom, after all, must also believe “a hole is a hole.”

Put another way, the shorter man’s androgynous look allows homophobes to more easily view him as “less than” manly. They define masculine sexuality so narrowly, both his appearance and his serenity in this situation breaks the mold.

As for Schwartz, well, one does wonder if his hands are afraid of his penis since, by his logic, masturbation must be the most homosexual act of all.

-maymay

Two men, each wearing collars, one naked save for a chest rope harness, the other in briefs, hold themselves against a wall with their hands above their heads. A woman stands between them, holding each possessively.

This picture was suggested by Halo, shown in the center of this image. Halo’s account of the scene this photograph’s from is quite absorbing. Thanks to everyone involved for sharing your experience with us.

This is a photo (from left to right) of Jack, Halo [myself] and Chris, taken by our friend Smalls (rope work also by Smalls). They’ve all granted permission for this photo to be shared.

I’ve chosen to share it because it captures submission as an act of strength, tenderness, and trust. Chris is butch, straight, and adheres to a patriarchal definition of masculinity: as a former Korean soldier, he’s been raised in a very conservative environment. Because of this, he was quite homophobic, but he trusted me enough as his Domme to participate in a scene side by side with Jack, a queer man with long hair, lovely curves, and a handsome red beard—a man who Chris had seen sucking cock earlier in the evening.

Chris wasn’t happy about being next to Jack and had told me so, but he knew it pleased me to play with both of them and so was willing to take part. He clenched every muscle that he could and bore the scene in silence.

I commanded both men to put their hands against the wall, then began spanking and flogging them until Jack was sweating, moaning, and crying out. Chris merely tightened up and took it. Afterwards, to show them how pleased I was with both of them, I covered them with red lipstick kisses.

The next morning, while I cooked breakfast, a shirtless Chris happily chatted with Jack. “Do you want to see how many push-ups I can do?” Chris asked. “Usually I do 500.” He knelt before Jack and began doing push-ups with perfect form until his breath came in pants and a sheen of sweat built up on his skin.

Although Chris and I no longer play, we learned a lot from each other.

As Halo’s story shows, trust is a prerequisite not only for good sex, but for learning; trust in oneself and in one’s partner to feel safe enough to do something potentially uncomfortable, but moreover trust that you have something to gain from it. That’s what’s so obviously lacking from those who willfully fail to acknowledge the validity of consensual sexual behavior.

I also think it’s quite telling to hear about Chris’s stoicism during his in-scene discomfort in contrast to Jack’s expressiveness, and how Chris’s stonewalling (no pun intended) seems to have dissipated the next morning, perhaps along with some of his homophobia.

-maymay

Two men embrace outdoors, one who’s shirtless and presents masculinely kneeling in front of the other, who’s dressed femininely.

This photograph was suggested by safeword.tumblr.com, but it’s the context that makes the image truly interesting:

Both the people in this photo are men and male-indentified. I think a tender, beautiful representation of the truth that masculinity and femininity are not only tied to sex, but are also not tied to dominance and submission. The kink community likes to act as if a man putting on heels or lipstick makes him submissive and humiliated (think of sissies or forced-fem), as if wearing lipstick and heels is something to be ashamed of, something that makes you weak. I see both people represented here as very strong.

This image would be very different if the man with the long hair (Izzy Hilton) was kneeling at Kris Kidd’s feet—that would tie femininity to submissiveness. Instead, the image is of masculinity submitting regardless of gender, regardless of cultural concepts of weakness and strength, but out of a desire to be nurtured and cared for, since this picture also does not seem expressly sexual. He looks almost childlike, like the way the top is cradling his head is soothing him.

I deeply appreciate that “safeword” sees both men in this image “as very strong” because it acknowledges how submission can engender power. Tangentially, I take issue with the use of the phrase “the kink community” because, as used in this context, I’d argue it misconstrues kink to equal BDSM when, in fact, it does not. With that said, I like the rest of “safeword“‘s analysis of this picture, and I agree wholeheartedly.

The commentary on diverse masculinity is particularly apt as a recent Gallup poll revealed that for the first time, the percentage of Americans who perceive ‘gay and lesbian relations’ as morally acceptable has crossed the 50 percent mark. The most interesting part of the survey results is the fact that the numbers were punctuated by a dramatic change in attitudes among younger men aged 18 to 49, whose acceptance of gays rose by a stunning 48% in the last four years. This, to me, proves the value in being visibly proud of who you are.

-maymay

A pale-skinned man with striking blue eyes looks up at the camera, holding himself above the space between two walls. He’s dressed in a black leather buckling chest harness.

This photograph was (most recently) suggested by Allie Coquelicot, who wrote:

This is one of the first images I saw of a submissive man, about two years ago now. It immediately struck a chord with me. I wasn’t sure at first why I desired this man so much, but over the years it has become much clearer that BDSM is an integral part of my life.

His position, the intensity of his gaze and the outdoor setting makes this a really stunning photograph. […] It’s an image which I feels portrays a beautiful, sexy submissive man. I now want him peering up at me with those expectant—perhaps slightly fearful—eyes.

Oddly, I like the man’s relatively plain earring most of all, since this image doesn’t impress much else on me. I may simply be too strongly averse to the stereotype of BDSM and leathers (a fact too many BDSM’ers think is “ironic,” which is a sign of their ignorance more than anything else). Nevertheless, I do find the fact that the picture was a formative catalyst for Allie noteworthy precisely because it does little for me.

Of course, my aversion to the common presentation of submission is the entire basis for this website. My agenda is no less hidden: to showcase the diversity of submissive masculinity in the hopes of catalyzing authentic sexual awareness in others (and curating admirable beauty along the way). In a world where men are allowed to look at women, but women are not allowed to look at men, we have no hope of living sexually unencumbered. I aim for nothing less than sexual freedom, and neither need you.

-maymay

A naked man straddles the lap of a woman in her underwear as she leans in to kiss him.

This touching photograph was suggested by amantes-amentes. It is, as amantes notes, very sensuous:

This photo […] immediately struck me as beautiful. Most photos of lovers in this position have the woman in this man’s position. In this photo, the woman is cradling her lover delicately, protectively, and sensuously. I especially love that we can see her right hand on his back, and the way he is grasping her upper arm.

I often feel a sense of guardianship and protection over the men with whom I have any sort of relationship, but especially with my sexual partners, and I think this embodies that aspect of the dominant-submissive relationship. (Not that submissive men need protection, of course! Just a personal inclination!)

The position of the models is particularly arresting because it’s one in which, perhaps due to their genders, a brief glance can give you the wrong impression, whereas a closer look will reveal details painting a very different picture. For instance, without even diving into the power implications, the slight angle at which the man is leaning back, not forward, the fact that the woman is still wearing her bra, and the arrangement of her arms as though they are enveloping his body all indicate tenderness, not aggression. Wait…tenderness? In porn?

Many who spout sex-negativity eagerly lump all pornography together into one (censored) pile with outrageous claims like viewing pornography creates rapists, but the variability in reality refutes this conflation. Of course, far be it from anti-porn activists and “researchers” like Dr. Gail Dines, Founder and Board Director of Stop Porn Culture, to let mere reality stop their crusade.

Dines and her organization are convening in Boston on June 12^th for an upsetting conference called Feminists Against Pornography (aka. FAP; seriously, “FAP”). Headlining at the conference is character assassin and University of Rhode Island Women’s Studies professor, Donna M. Hughes, a well-known right-wing wingnut most famous for her Coalition Against Pleasure and Health, responsible for delaying Megan Andelloux’s non-profit sex education Center from opening for half a year.

While I’m thrilled to see the Internet abuzz with people discussing the merits and demerits of pornography, I feel much of that discussion misses the point. Both Stop Porn Culture and the Feminists Against Pornography conference are red herrings. To borrow from Jessica Valenti, their tactics are part of a larger conservative move to woo women by appropriating feminist language. […C]onservatives are trying to sell anti-women policies shrouded in pro-women rhetoric.

Thankfully, June 12^th is the same day as the sex-positive, free KinkForAll Washington DC 2 unconference. As developmental psychology post-grad and researcher Jason G. Goldman put it, I will suggest that given the ubiquity of pornographic content available to children and adults, and given the ease at which it can be acquired, and given the high amount of sexual content in mainstream media (e.g. primetime TV), the people who are meeting in Boston next week to denounce pornography might redirect their efforts at improving the quality of sex education in our schools.

-maymay

A man strains against bonds as he lays naked on a padded table, while a casually dressed young woman holds his erect penis in one hand and a small plastic-looking tool between his legs with her other.

As others have mentioned, the most defining—and enjoyable—characteristic of this photograph is the woman’s attire: a blue, oversized “Abercrombie” sweater. His nakedness and frenetic energy is far more striking because of the contrast her nonchalant appearance provides. Couple this with the not merely unconcerned, but downright gleeful expression on her face and the strips of tape serving as a blindfold and gag on his face, and, well, I’m sold.

That being said, concluding that this man is necessarily in pain is a mistake. It’s more likely that she’s pleasuring him, not hurting him, because no matter its genre, the tired narrative in pornography is that men receive (physical) pleasure and women provide it—regardless of who’s touching who and how. What would, instead, be most compelling to me is if this scene was one in which an overabundance of sexual pleasure was itself the instrument of pain.

In so doing, and only thanks to the woman’s obvious blitheness, it could help redefine several porn “pleasure narratives” (if not its gender or power narratives). It would more clearly show pleasure’s true diversity, that joy is possible through pleasure, pain, or both, that both “receiving” and “giving” physical sensation can be pleasurable, and that the “giving” may be most satisfying for the “giver” when the act is performed on her terms. Therein lies the missing “last mile” of porn’s potential honesty.

As an aside, I’m pretty sure he’s not in pain because, what is that she’s holding, a toothbrush? (No, seriously, is it a toothbrush?)

-maymay

mostlystraight:

333images:

I love this.  I love that he’s properly tied down, and he’s in real pain, and he’s clenching his knees together but it won’t do him any good.  I love that she’s wearing a fucking hoodie and she’s just delighted with herself.  Where is all the femdom like this?

thoushalllovethymistress

(via fempower)

Laying on his stomach naked on a bed, a man with long hair strikes a pose tilting his head, while holding onto the footboard.

This photograph of drummer Brian Viglione was suggested by dardrian, who wrote:

I love this photograph of him. The arch of his back, his closed eyes, the way he has tilted his head, the fierce grip he has on the foot-board, all seem to indicate to me that he is waiting for something. Perhaps a smack, perhaps simply to be ravished.

There’s an austere yet sensual beauty in every part of this image, including the man, that I really enjoy. That, and the awesomely pervertible bed frame on which his hands could easily be bound. I think part of the intrigue this photograph provides is Brian’s own serenity; seems he would be equally comfortable being admired as he would being alone—and that confidence is what I find to be the sexiest thing about him in this photograph.

-maymay

Holding a bouquet of roses in his lap, a shirtless man is strapped to a vintage armchair and blindfolded.

This photograph is from a series called Decadence by Alberto Rugolotto, and was suggested by Aida. I like the iconoclastic mismatch of bondage and luxury in this image, and the ambiguity of the scene. Is he gifting those roses to someone, or are they intended to decorate him?

Sexuality has had a long and controversial relationship with luxury throughout history. Many see widespread self-indulgence as a symptom of societal decay, pointing to the apparent decadence of the Roman Empire as historical evidence. Fewer seem to critique austerity outright, as even the Victorians—those remarkable people who shunned pleasure to the point of boiling the nutrients out of their childrens’ food in order to achieve blandness—have many fans for many reasons even today.

Sex and sexual pleasure is contradictorily viewed as both a luxury and a necessity. Although the mainstream needlessly flip-flops on this according to the morality du jour, I think the paradoxical view is correct. Sexual self-expression is a human necessity (and a right); sex occupies both the base and higher levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Like good nutrition, fulfilling sex (at least with oneself) is required for health. Like gourmet food, fantastical sex might be a luxury, currently available only to those financially or emotionally wealthy enough to indulge in it. Seen in this light, the crusade against sexual freedom is revealed for what it is: systemic emotional starvation.

-maymay

While wearing a head harness and a ball gag, a man rests his head in his partner’s hand.

This photograph was taken and suggested by Vode, who also sent this lovely description of the image:

I would like to share a picture I have made with my boyfriend. We both are into BDSM, he was a switch, I submissive. But he longed to be dominated and I liked the idea although I never dominated anyone before. But with him, it was like we were made for each other, and it went so easy. He loves it when I make him wear gags, it’s almost insta-submisson for him and you can see it from the look of his face.

This picture was taken when I wanted to have a little photoshoot and while taking pictures trying to dominate him a bit and let his submission shine through in his pictures. I think it did. I love this picture especially because of my hand holding his face and his facial expression. I hope you like it too.

I do like it, too. The delicateness with which his head is held, evident through the position and gentleness of the thumb, guides my eyes to his. This is in sharp contrast to what we often see in erotica, and I’ve written before about how distasteful I find porn that covers up mens’ faces to be, and how beautiful and joyous shamelessness can be.

Vode also wrote me an encouraging note:

Thank you for the website, it made me more attracted to male submission, and keep up the lovely work.

Particularly as it came from a self-described submissive, her note reminds me why MaleSubmissionArt.com exists: We cannot be what we cannot see.

-maymay

Chains wrap a young man’s wrists as he holds his hands together, bowing his head.

I love the way the lighting in this photograph almost seems to drape itself over the model’s hands and the chain around his wrists. The limited view we get lends itself to many possible narratives. Psychoadept, who sent this picture in, had this to say about the image:

Hard to tell what the subject is wearing, but it’s not hard to imagine he could be in a religious setting, maybe even a young monk. And yet there’s nothing explicitly religious about it, and it makes me think about how many parallels there are between sexual submission and religious “submission,” right down to the control of sexual urges and sexual behavior.

As this picture suggests, constraints often foster creativity. Strict rules of meter inspired some of the world’s most powerful poetry, just as Twitter’s 140-character rule made it a breeding ground for innovation. In an ideal world, I’d only face restrictions (religious or otherwise) I chose to challenge myself with. But in the real world, influence is too often sought via imposition or intimidation, turning constraints that could be opportunities if you were to choose them for yourself into obstacles because they were chosen for you.

Equally horrifying, I think, is the hypocrisy spawned by self-righteous sanctimony. It’s amusing (to say the least) that devout Catholics appear to be the group most easily stimulated by Donna M. Hughes and Margaret Brooks to bandy baseless accusations of child molestation at me, especially when the media is afire with evidence of decades-long coverups by the Catholic Church of that exact crime. Just as the Catholic Church continues to conflate homosexuality with pedophilia, so-called prominent feminist Donna M. Hughes and Margaret Brooks are conflating speaking about sex with child sex trafficking.

As Thomas has suggested on numerous occasions, I think [Donna M. Hughes and Margaret Brooks are] not really interested in protecting children. I think they’re interested in shutting down the conferences and silencing kinksters. Is it any wonder, then, that those who try to impose their own sexual morality on others find such fertile ground for their disingenuous crusades among the religiously zealous?

Among all the parallels between sexual submission and religious “submission” is this one, as well: consent is moral, oppression is not.

-maymay