Art and visual erotica that depicts masculine submission.
We showcase beautiful imagery where men and other male-identified people are submissive subjects. We aim to challenge stereotypes of the "pathetic" submissive man. Learn more….
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Despite many “anti-bullying” campaigns, online harassment and cyberbullying are prevalent behaviors. Most anti-abuse efforts fail because they tend to focus on appeals to authority. The now-ubiquitous “Report Abuse” buttons on social networking websites like Twitter are one such example, yet their ubiquity have not curbed the behaviors or harm they purport to address or mitigate.
We believe these efforts have failed because cyberbullying and online harassment are cultural, not technological, problems inherited from a society where coercion and abusive behavior offline are normalized. Abusive behavior is no more successfully mitigated in the physical world through appeals to authority than it is likely to be mitigated in the online world through the same sorts of appeals. This is doubly true in an environment where the biggest “bullies” are the authorities themselves:
People who are being abused have no recourse, because the systems that are supposedly set up to help them actually harm them further. Victims of domestic violence who call the police are often jailed themselves, because the police are required to arrest somebody and choose to arrest the ‘hysterical’ victim over the seemingly ‘calm and rational’ abuser. When I was in grade school, this happened on a regular basis: Kids threw rocks at me, and then I got sent to the principals office, because I punched one of them. It didn’t matter that I punched them because they were THROWING ROCKS AT ME. It happens at all scales, including and especially on the Internet.
—@maymaymx, Predator Alert Tool for Twitter developer
To put it less diplomatically, the Internet has been doing “report abuse” wrong because its admins are corrupt. The “Report Abuse” button should go to the rest of the user community, not just the site admins.
Predator Alert Tool for Twitter is the Twitter part of an Internet-wide anti-abuse effort to change the way people think about bullying, violence, and abuse. Rather than creating an opaque appeal to authority that silences people (such as current “Report Abuse” forms), it sends a radically transparent and contextualized signal boost to friends and supporters of the person who bullies and abusers target. Using Predator Alert Tool for Twitter, the targeted user can ask for help and support at the same time as they are alerting the rest of the Twitter user community about behavior they have experienced as abusive.I began writing some further concept documentation for Predator Alert Tool for Twitter, because I don’t sound enough like a broken record for most people to even begin to understand what the hell I’m doing, yet. It’s really lonely being so (intentionally) misunderstood. (via maymay)
I want to clarify something. But, since every time I speak publicly certain people deem it their personal moral crusade to deliberately misinterpret and decontextualize what I have to say, I’m going to let this other blog post written by this other person clarify for me:
My friends Unquietpirate and Maymay wrote this controversy-provoking article, “You Can Take It Back: Consent as a Felt Sense”
To me, the most important thing they point to is that the internet social justice world has so far on the whole done a poor job of distinguishing between ethical and legal frameworks for discussing rape and sexual assault.
[…F]or survivors, the terminology of rape can be very useful and empowering, sometimes, but also very limiting and confusing other times. I’ve read writings by survivors who benefited from using the word “rape” to describe what happened to them. I’ve also read about the process of trying to decide whether an experience fits into the “rape” box or the “not-rape” box being a confusing and demoralizing obstacle in dealing with that experience, both intra- and interpersonally.
In a legal proceeding, the whole point is to decide whether or not it was rape, according to some very specific definition written by some politician or lawyer.
Outside of a legal proceeding, there may be times when it’s way easier and more useful to ask “was it OK?” than “was it rape?”
It doesn’t seem at all wierd to say that if you do something with someone, and they don’t feel ok about it, either in the moment or at any point in the future, the thing you did wasn’t entirely ok.
Maymay and unquietpirate have zeroed in on one very significant example of this misplaced emphasis on legal rather than ethical thinking about rape. When thinking about sexual ethics, it seems fairly uncontroversial that one would want to think about whether a particular sexual encounter might be something that one party would regret later, and if so, maybe not do it. It only becomes controversial when we try to shoehorn this reasonable ethical principle into the language of “consent,” as Maymay and Unquietpirate have done. I’m not suggesting that this was an error on their part: they clearly chose their language with the specific intent of being controversial, for various valid rhetorical reasons.
I’m posting this because, ever since we posted “You Can Take It Back: Consent as a Felt Sense,” there’s been an ongoing controversy about the ideas therein. When I published my Radical Ethicism followup, said controversy grew. But when I published my most recent take, “Wherein MRAs and Feminists both agree that legalistic status quo on “consent” must not be challenged,” people’s (air-quotes) “interpretations” have jumped the shark. (Air quotes because, again, most of these are clearly deliberate misinterpretations—once is a mistake, twice is a problem, three times is a decision.)
Most folks seem to think I was just kidding about the original piece. So, I want to clarify: I was then and am now totally serious and meant every word.
At least for me, the reason I am so enamored with the rhetorical approach of dissolving current consent discourse is because it is so damned useful in highlighting the obsessive legalism with which people approach what the quoted blogger calls “sexual ethics.” And my point in highlighting that obsession is to showcase that, in fact, not even the people who appointed themselves to the task of creating a more “just” society have actually thought about sexual ethics at all. (I’m talking about pro-consent feminists.) The fact that these people’s first and ongoing response to our “Consent as a Felt Sense” essay centers legalism when the explicit purpose of the essay is to decenter it should be all the evidence you need.
Unless you, too, don’t really care about sexual ethics (to use our words from the essay: “care about not violating consent”), because what you really care about, or care about more than that is whether you’re going to find yourself on the right or wrong side of The Law (to use our words from the essay: what you care about is “not getting in trouble for violating consent”). If that describes what you do, regardless of what you say, then I do actually think the world would be better off if you killed yourself.
Here are some more screenshots of PAT Twitter in action. Please spread the word.(via maymay)
You are not anonymous.
When you leave a comment filled with rape apologia on my blog under a name like “Sarah” but you leave trails (like an email address) which links to a Facebook profile claiming to be a man by the name of “Alec Brice-Bateman,” I can trivially learn more about you than you apparently want me to know:
Even if you think you’re covering your tracks, I can and will still find you. There are so many ways; IP addresses, browser fingerprinting, timing, or just your friends’ comments even if you did everything perfectly. Put simply: I am better at this than you are.
However, it is no fun when it is this easy for me to call you out by name as a rape apologist scumbag:
Try harder, dipshits.
- Meet Joe Pleso, rape apologist and person angry at maymay.
- I am claiming the Internet as a sovereign entity in which rape apologists are not welcome. Effective immediately, rape apologists on the Internet should get offline or watch their fucking back.
End of transmission.