A man and a woman are kissing, each holding the other in a suggestive way.
This photograph reminds me of the phrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” So is submission. That’s because submission isn’t about a specific act, it’s about intentionality. Sex is the same way.
Some of us often forget this, and instead of communicating to one another about what we do, we accidentally communicate about what we are. Sadly, sexuality terminology is ill-suited to make these distinctions clear. When I talk about being “a submissive man,” my intention (usually) is to use “submissive” as an adjective and “man” as a noun but sometimes people don’t hear the adjective. Instead, they just hear the single, compound noun, “submissiveman.” This is also known as labeling.
Labels trouble some of us because to others they imply purity. Bisexual people, switches, and genderqueer people are all good examples of people who frequently find themselves straddling a very uncomfortable fence we can’t even see except through the eyes of others. That’s why, for example, there are so many people who explore bisexuality but relatively few people who self-identify as bisexual. If we can remember the difference between “what we do” and “what we are,” we might more easily discover how open-minded we can be.
(via wonderlandcode831)
This picture doesn’t quite hit all my hot buttons (which are the only criteria for being on this tumblr, heh) but I found the photo worthy of a repost because it keeps me guessing. Who’s the dom here, exactly? She has a good fistful of his hair, and he’s wearing the cuffs and chains…but the way he’s holding her face doesn’t scream “submissive” the way most of these photos do. Have I found my first switch photo? Was that even the photographer’s intent? I have no way of knowing, but I like it.