Laying on his back with his shirt unbuttoned, a man is almost kissed by the woman on top of him. One of the woman’s hands threatens pinching the man’s nipple.
This photograph was suggested by Ranai, who had this to say about it:
This is the super secret way of Empty Hand BDSM: It overcomes lovers or play partners and there’s no time to grab any utensils. It can be done spontaneously when the energy flow attacks, no preparation needed. :)
I (think I) can see what Ranai is getting at here; a lack of classically “kinky” iconography makes this couple look very “vanilla” (as if kink and vanilla were an actual dichotomy—they’re not). Nevertheless, and thus surprisingly for some, the woman’s assertive position can clearly project dominance and by the same token, the man’s receptive pose can clearly project submissiveness in the minds of people who look for it. In this sense, the woman shown here, in her comfortable sweater sliding off her shoulder, is sending far and away more dominant signals to me than any leather-clad, whip-wielding so-called dominatrix could ever hope to achieve.
False dichotomies, like “kinky” and “vanilla,” are rampant in our society. Although dichotomies can be useful (and sexy), most have their limitations because they are by definition limited to two non-overlapping parts. Imagine an emotional dichotomy: you could be either happy or sad, but never melancholy, wistful, joyous, jubilant, sorrowful, contended, or elated. Although throwing away the gradations of a thing, like emotions, would make for a simpler existence, it would also cease to be a human experience.
Outdated dichotomies, such as the binary gender illusion, reinforce ideas that are not representative of our diverse reality. Although I regularly call myself a submissive guy, I’m not always submissive. Similarly, don’t let its family-friendly facade fool you; Disney has been on the cutting edge of gender-bending for as long as I can remember.